I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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