The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
