You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It's shark week go big or go home
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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