Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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