I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Randomize
