So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
