yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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