What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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