Where is the hickey?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
