i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
