i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
