i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
