The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
