Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
