eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
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We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
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I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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