You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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