Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
