Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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