I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
