Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You made out with two different species that night
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
