Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Just puked most of my soul out..
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize