my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Dick very happy bro
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
