Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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