In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize