His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
