My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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