he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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