I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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