You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize