Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
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Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize