You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My vagina just clenched in fear
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
