You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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