you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
