You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm always down for nudity.
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