Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
love makes seman taste better
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
