i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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