i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
