Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
