i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
