Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
