Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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