I think I died a long time ago.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
