I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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