fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
