oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
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A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
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I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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