Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
