I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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