where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
