Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
