The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
