Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
