im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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