I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
