I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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