Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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