If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
