we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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