If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
